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A virtuous woman with Cameron Fradd

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Cameron Fradd with Fr Anthony Robbie at St Patrick’s Bondi Parish. Photo: Bondi Catholic Parish.

Reminiscing about the time she broke a boy’s nose for using the word “girl” as an insult, Cameron Fradd had the 200 women packed into St Patrick’s church in Bondi hanging onto every word.

Her topic? Being a virtuous woman. With humility and candour the US-based Catholic speaker and podcaster reflected on her struggles with self-acceptance and the challenges of embracing her own femininity. She admitted that if she were growing up today, she might have been tempted to reject anything that expressed her womanhood.

“My mum would dress us all in perfectly matched dresses, and then there’d be a picture of me sprawling on the floor with my hair everywhere,” she said.

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“‘Cameron be ladylike,’ my mum would say. I just couldn’t try to be perfect, because I couldn’t do it. My older sister could, she could sit still, smile and be perfect and I was the rebel.

“My mother would say, ‘This is so embarrassing Cameron.’”

Over time, Fradd, host of the Among the Lilies podcast, realised that neither perfection nor rejection of femininity was the answer. The key, she discovered, was embracing who she was—fully and freely.

“The good news is you’re not supposed to be someone else. You’re supposed to be you, and there is freedom in that,” she said.

Cameron Fradd with parishioners from St Patrick’s Bondi parish. Photo: Bondi Catholic Parish.

“The world tells us this is what a woman is and this is how you need to be her. Nobody measures up to what that woman is. Even if you tried to do all the things to become this woman, this woman is sad and unhappy.”

Fradd was visiting the parish as part of an Australian tour with her husband, podcaster and author Matt Fradd, organised by Parousia Media.

She reminded her audience of mostly young women to look to the mother of Jesus as an example of true virtue.

“The church in her wisdom directs is to ‘behold your mother.’ She’s amazing, she’s beautiful. She’s virtuous,” she told them.

She also emphasised the importance of women supporting one another rather than tearing each other down.

“We have the power to build each other up or stab each other in the back. It can be really ugly,” she warned.

She illustrated this through a moment at a SEEK conference when she saw her friend and fellow Catholic speaker Leah Darrow about to go on stage to speak before thousands of attendees.

virtuous woman
St Patrick’s Church full with women who attended Cameron’s talk. Photo: Bondi Catholic Parish.

Overcome with love and admiration, Fradd began shouting encouragement: “Leah, you are amazing! You are wonderful! You are going to do a great job! The Lord has sent his Spirit to you!”

Later, Leah met her in tears. “She said, ‘I needed to hear that,” Fradd recalled. “I’m pregnant, I feel fat, and I’m about to talk to all these people. I really needed to hear that.”

Fradd pointed out that comparison is the thief of joy, and had she remained silent—had she let jealousy or insecurity hold her back—she would have missed the chance to uplift her friend.

This is the true calling of a virtuous woman. To not hold back comfort, praise or joy and delight in the light of others.

To be a virtuous woman is not about perfection or pretending to be flawless. Rather, a truly virtuous woman, like Our Lady, “relies on Christ, knows her worth, and knows whose she is.”

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