Padstow Heights mother of two, Clarissa Meffan, 53, veered so far from her Catholic upbringing and the teachings of the church, she tried contacting the dead, not through prayer, but by consulting a clairvoyant.
“I’ve always been a bit of a seeker, and dabbled in the new age in my search for spiritual truth,” she recalls.
Growing up New Zealand, in a household of deep Catholic faith, Clarissa rebelled against her parents’ devotion to the church.
“I do remember trying to pray, and I didn’t really get very much in response. So, I knew, or thought I knew, this isn’t the religion for me. I became anti-Catholic,” she recalls.
Clarissa’s distrust and disconnection from the Church became so deep that a cherished photo of her receiving a blessing from Mother Teresa turned into a subject of her jokes with friends. She recalls looking at the photo of that blessed encounter and saying, “Well, that didn’t work, did it? I just fell away from the Catholic faith.“
She completed a university degree, left New Zealand and made a new home in Sydney.
Like many in her mid-20s, Clarissa found herself questioning the big mysteries of life. Her curiosity in questions of purpose and identity was rekindled by a “spiritual but not religious” mindset, leading her down a path filled with “new age” practices and occult interests.
“I would start to read star signs and reading tarot cards and trying meditation. Sort of ‘new age’, dabbling in spirituality. But always seeking,” she recalls of this period.
Clarissa’s quest for meaning grew deeper as she pondered questions that haunted her: “What is the world? How do I connect? What is my purpose? What do I need to do?”
That internal quest for meaning and truth would reach its summit with the death of her sister and parents within a short period of time.
“I turned to spirituality to try and find answers to what happens after you die. It was my way of grieving, of coping,” she remembers.
Her dalliance with the dark arts, would take a sharper turn.
“I contacted reputable mediums,” she admits. Mediums claim to be a channel, between the living and the dead, using clairvoyance to relay what they claim to be messages of love, support and closure.
After one session Clarissa was convinced one medium had indeed ‘crossed over’. She believed her messages during that session were indeed from her parents.
“They were real, she was sharing things only they would know. And so, in a way I got my money’s worth.”
But an internal alarm sounded: “something felt off. Something wasn’t right,” Clarissa remembers feeling. “I knew then this wasn’t the path for me.”
That was the last time she would dabble in the shadows.
Life changed course, and she returned to normal routines. But God’s mercy had other plans when a series of cataclysmic world events, including October 7, in Israel, stirred her heart and curiosity about the Bible.
She began reading the Bible and doing the ‘Bible in a Year” Podcast by Fr Mike Schmitz. What she discovered, astonished her.” I realised I had been Catholic all along,” she admits. “And I truly had understood what that meant.”
Clarissa attended her first Mass, sat quietly listening, and felt at home. It was a moment of profound clarity: this was the path her soul needed.
Embracing her Catholic faith, Clarissa found herself welcomed into a “vibrant community,” of Our Lady of Fatima in Peakhurst, where her parish priest encouraged her to be a part of “The Search” program, a Catholic video series, adapted from the Augustine Institute that explores fundamental questions about life’s meaning, purpose, science, faith, and Jesus Christ.
“It’s funny that, I did a course called ‘The Search’ after seeking for, all my life. I think that that is a beautiful paradox in my life,” she observes.
She now volunteers within her parish, focussed on parish renewal and local charity. “The more that you actually give of yourself to others is a really great way to make yourself feel good,” she says of her transformation.
Today, that once ridiculed photo of herself receiving a blessing from Mother Theresa is now a treasured possession; a reminder that her faith journey has come full circle, from rebellion to rediscovery, from darkness to the light of Christ.
“I feel really blessed. I’ve been searching and searching but the answer was there all along.”
