If a mother in heaven knows that her son did not go to heaven but went to hell, will she somehow feel sad?
That is a frequently-asked question and it is not a difficult one to answer. We can start from Scripture, where the book of Revelation describes life in the New Jerusalem, or heaven, like this: “Behold, the dwelling of God is with men.
“He will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away” (Rev 21:3-4).
In heaven with God, all is joy, indescribable joy on seeing God face to face and being in the added company of Our Lady, the angels and all the saints. The Catechism says of heaven: “Heaven is the ultimate end and fulfilment of the deepest human longings, the state of supreme, definitive happiness” (CCC 1024).
Supreme happiness is incompatible with any sadness whatsoever, including the knowledge that a loved one is suffering in hell. To be in the presence of the Blessed Trinity and to experience the infinite love of God is to be overwhelmed with joy. There can be no sadness in heaven.
But then how can a soul in heaven be so happy if it knows that a loved one is in hell? The presumption is that the soul in heaven does know that a loved one is in hell. That is not certain. In principle, apart from the knowledge it has of everything around it in heaven, it can know only what God allows it to know.
It is certain that God allows the saints to know certain things on earth, as is evidenced by the miracles done through their intercession. When the church beatifies or canonises a saint, it has first declared that there has been a miracle that can be attributed to the intercession of that saint. And there are many such miracles. This can only be explained if the saint in heaven is aware of the prayer of the person(s) on earth asking for their intercession before God.
St Thomas Aquinas, in the Supplement to his Summa Theologiae says that this is the case. Speaking of the saints in heaven, he says: “Now it pertains to their glory that they assist the needy for their salvation: for thus they become God’s co-operators, than which nothing is more Godlike, as Dionysius declares (Cael. Hier. iii).
Wherefore it is evident that the saints are cognisant of such things as are required for this purpose; and so it is manifest that they know in the Word the vows, devotions, and prayers of those who have recourse to their assistance” (Suppl. q. 72, art. 1). As St Thomas says, the saints in heaven know about the needy on earth “in the Word”, in the Son of God, not directly.
Do the saints in heaven also know whether someone, including a loved one, is in hell? It may very well be that they do not. St Thomas adds: “Although it does not follow that those who see the Word see all things in the Word, they see those things that pertain to the perfection of their happiness, as stated above” (ibid, Reply Obj. 4).
Since the knowledge that someone they knew was in hell would not contribute to the perfection of their happiness in heaven, it is likely that they are unaware of this fact. After all, they are so caught up in the glory and love of God that they are unaware of anything outside of heaven that would detract from their supreme happiness.
What is more, since their happiness comes wholly from their relationship with God, it does not depend any longer on their relationship with persons on earth.
If it did, their happiness would be lessened every time a loved one on earth was sick, or depressed, or anxious. Clearly this cannot be, and therefore even the fact that someone was suffering in hell would not detract from their happiness, if indeed they were aware of this fact.
In summary, in heaven there is only supreme happiness, never sadness.
