When Sydney music teacher Teresa Smith tried to digitally detox from social media by setting a no-phone zone before bedtime, she was surprised at how impossible it was to do.
She’s not alone. Like Smith, many are frustrated with their social media use and wish to reduce or cut it out entirely. Lent is the perfect opportunity to think about our use of social media and how it uses us.
Unfortunately, social media is extremely addictive and designed to keep users on it as long as possible.
She said FOMO—the fear of missing out—was her initial reason for getting on social media but she became hooked, and her usage changed from looking at what friends were doing to monitoring professional content creators.
After the failure of her no-phones before bed policy, Smith replaced it with a 15-minute limit on scrolling.
“That one lasted about two weeks, essentially confirming that for me, there is no ability to decisively step away once my attention is engaged,” she said.
Smith said a change of mindset eventually helped her to cut down on her social media usage as she became aware of the goals of social media companies.
“If you don’t pay anything for a product, chances are you are the product,” she said.
“Rejecting being objectified and having my attention span sold to advertisers prompted my initial retreat from Facebook.”
Smith said she does not think social media is either inherently good or inherently bad and there were positive ways to use it, but thinks many people are helplessly overusing it as she was.
“Social media addictions are no less real or less damaging for the fact that they are more common and ultimately very accepted, especially in people under the age of 30,” she said.
CatholicPsych Institute International Programs Director and therapist Shawn Van Der Linden agrees that social media is designed to be as addictive as possible and even rewires users’ brains as it mimics real world interactions.
“There’s a very powerful influence that’s actually happening without the user necessarily quite realising what they’ve stepped into,” he told The Catholic Weekly.
“Our brain will release various hormones like dopamine and that’s just one of the ways for the signal to say, this is good, you’re experiencing belonging right now.”
Van Der Linden said the addictive element of social media comes from the dopamine hit because it feels as if users belong to a community without having to do the hard work of developing relationships but there is a danger with this digital community.
“With my clients there’s very significant impacts, ranging from triggering anxiety as, particularly young women, are very attuned to the comparison with other people,” he said.
He said those who came seeking help for social media addiction were often suffering from symptoms of anxiety or depression, which he says is due to being unable cope with what is happening in their lives.
“This becomes a way of avoiding those problems and challenges where you’re numbing out,” he said.
He said there are ways to deal with social media addiction, including putting the phone in greyscale to limit the effect the colours have on the brain to getting a phone which does not have apps.
He said those who wish to give up social media for Lent will be “reaching for the phone constantly.”
“Have a strategy in place—what are you going to do instead?” he said.
“Be aware that there are other ways to give yourself that dopamine hit, so to get the healthy endorphins going.”
Van Der Linden said those who wish to replicate the boost social media provides, exercise, and reading could help and practicing mindfulness could ease the fear of missing out which impacts users.
“That fear of missing out is an anxiety and it’s going to be a fear if you think about it,” he said.
“It’s a thought that is sort of anchored in the future and the more you can learn to recognise that you’re having thoughts that are in the future or thoughts that are in the past, that’s the source of a lot of anxiety.”
Van Der Linden said the way to deal with the loss of social media during Lent is to come “into the present moment” and accept difficult concepts which fuel the fear of missing out.
“This is a rewiring of your brain because what the phone does is it’s taking you out of the present moment, it’s numbing you,” he said.
“The rewiring you’re going to go through during Lent if you give up social media is essentially learning to be in the present moment and to be able to be looking at your thoughts and feelings rather than getting caught up in looking at the world from your thoughts and feelings.”
Social media use doesn’t have to be a negative thing says Diocese of Broken Bay Vocations Director Fr Sam French, who himself has over 250,000 followers online.
Fr French uses his platforms for evangelisation, calling himself a “digital missionary” who seeks to spread the Word on social media.
But he is also aware of its downsides and said there are five things to be mindful of when using social media.
These are being aware of what the goal of social media usage is, setting boundaries, engaging positively, prioritising real life relationships, and cutting off social media entirely if it has too much of a negative impact.
“When you’re passively scrolling or aimlessly watching videos or Reels online, you’re really at the mercy of the professionally designed algorithms that are designed to trap you,” he said.
He said intentional usage involved setting a time limit or being mindful as to the reason to be on social media.
“If you’re not using the internet for a good reason, it’s using you for a bad one,” he said.