Last week we looked at how most Catholics probably don’t need individual spiritual direction.
Free will is God’s most powerful gift to us. He doesn’t want slaves or zombies acting out of fear or force.
Freely giving your life to God daily because you love him – even when it’s really hard – is exactly what he’s longing for.
Individual spiritual direction should always aim to give a person more freedom, not less.
To get there, you might need to develop better habits and more self-control. You can probably at least start on this without a spiritual director.
You might need to get yourself some catechesis, and to form good habits of daily prayer and regular use of the sacraments.
You might need to purge your spiritual reading of sentimental junk food and read some healthier stuff instead.
But if you struggle with even these basics, then individual spiritual direction probably won’t help you.
So who might actually need – and benefit from – individual spiritual direction?
You might be trying to work out what state of life God wants you to be in.
Should you marry someone who’s in your life right now and is amenable to the idea? (Remember to ask the person first if they’re amenable.)
Should you enter religious life or the priesthood? Or stay single for the Lord’s sake?
Are you facing a choice about training for a new career, or undertaking a course of study?
Is there some specific work you feel God might be calling you to do?
Have you recently gone through something terrible – a sudden death, abandonment, job loss, or divorce?
Spiritual direction can help you to process what’s happened and find your way back to God.
This should also be supported by good counselling or therapy, because spiritual direction isn’t meant to replace these things.
There are also a very few people who seem to be experiencing a lot of mystical or supernatural phenomena.
Before you panic: most Catholics have religious experiences. It’s normal for people who live with at least one foot in the supernatural world.
These might be visions of the imagination, or hearing vocal responses to prayers, or spiritual dreams.
You are probably not a saint just yet. But if you think it’s happening a lot, then seek spiritual direction from someone sensible.
They can help you discern how much of this is real and helpful, and how much might be coming from an unhealthy place inside you, or an external evil source.
You’ll notice that the spiritual direction I’m talking about here is only for a certain period.
We get ideas from the lives of the saints that we will have a lifetime relationship with a spiritual director, but that’s not the case.
(Your director will also probably not ask you to write your spiritual diaries and later weep tears of joy during your canonisation process.)
So if you really need one – how do you find a good spiritual director? As I said last week, they’re in short supply.
I promised you three steps, so here’s step two: an easy low-level way to get some individual spiritual direction.
Find a sensible priest (ask around if you must).
Contact him and ask if he’ll be your regular confessor, because you need extra help right now for whatever it is.
See what he says. He might be too busy, so ask him for a recommendation.
But if he’s open to it, he might get you in for an initial chat, and after that you can go to confession to him regularly.
When you go into the confessional, tell the priest that it’s you, and then make your confession.
You should then get slightly more focused advice and direction than an anonymous penitent would.
Remember: if he’s a sensible priest, there will be a queue. This is not a counselling session.
But if you think you need longer – for example, if something unexpected has happened – then ask to see him individually at another time, outside confession.
And if you are very blessed, you’ll achieve step three: a spiritual director who can see you for longer sessions.
So don’t despair if you can’t find an individual spiritual director right away. There are things you can do instead that will help you just as much.
Silent mental prayer and good spiritual reading (yes to the Bible and the Catechism; no to unapproved private revelations) will support you.
Making a retreat is helpful. Sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament in adoration is also helpful.
You can go a long way just by doing the basics and getting them mostly right.
