Manly Sea Eagles winger Jason Saab has often leaned on his Catholic faith to understand a son’s relationship to his father.
The rugby league speedster is Indigenous Australian on his mother Alysia’s side and Nigerian on his biological father’s—although Jason never knew him.
His models of fatherly love have come from God, and Pierre Saab.
As far as Jason is concerned the title of “father” belongs to the man who’s raised him since he was three—the words “stepdad” and “stepson” don’t exist in the Saab family.
“Pierre was in my life before I was even aware as a kid, he’s all I knew,” Jason told The Catholic Weekly. “But I also knew he wasn’t the same colour as me, he wasn’t my ‘dad’ exactly.
“I just called him Pierre. I knew he was the man of the house, but I didn’t understand how it all worked, it was kind of weird.
“But as I got older, I slowly got more comfortable in understanding and eventually I took what’s now my last name.”
Pierre’s desire for his own family grew through his relationship with Alysia and her son. He took the leap and raised Jason as his own.
“I’d always wanted a family and to be married with kids. Well, ‘Here’s one we prepared earlier.’ Right?” he joked.
He and Jason connected through a common love for rugby league. Looking back, they remember the cold nights at training, gruelling matchdays, and the annual trip to Peter Wynn’s sports store for new boots.
Pierre and Alysia celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary this year, now as a family of five alongside their children Jason, 23, Layla, 15, and Nadim, seven.
The pair have overcome their fair share of hurdles to become the parents they are today.
“It was very tough at the start. We were on and off for a good year because Pierre wasn’t sure, with me being a single mum,” Alysia said.
“I was pretty sure,” Pierre said, “but let’s be honest, we’re Lebanese. People get in your head about bringing home an Aussie girl with a black child.
“Let’s not sugarcoat it—the racism was obvious.”
“I experienced it even from some family members of my own, asking why I was with a Lebanese guy,” Alysia added.
“A lot of paranoia kicked in and I felt out of place, not because of Pierre, but from the thought of knowing people were judging me and my son.”
Their marriage has been a model to their children on how to love and to live a life of respect.
“Things aren’t always perfect. We might argue or disagree like every other couple, but that’s how life is,” Pierre said. “You have to work for the things you truly love, and that’s what we’re trying to show the kids,.”
Their Catholic faith nurtures their family life, with the Saabs attending Mass all together on Sundays as often as possible.
But Pierre’s faith has shown him there’s no such thing as flawless fatherhood.
“I’m prone to mistakes, like we all are. But in that there’s room for forgiveness, so we’ve learnt to be patient with and understanding of each other in this family,” he said.
Pierre lives out his vocation through all his children, including his gym and prayer partner Layla, 15, who he’s particularly close with.
“I love that we’ll do anything together, often just spur of the moment, last second plans and we’re jumping in the car off on an adventure the two of us,” Layla said.
A representative basketball player for Western Sydney Wolves, Layla also aspires to chase her sporting dreams and go pro just like her older brother.
Dad’s her number one fan. Together they often enjoy the Bondi cliff walk at sunrise before a swim.
Seven-year-old Nadim is less demanding. “Church, Chubby Buns burgers and Timezone!” are more than enough to keep him happy.
“A lot of people don’t make time for their kids. They complain about them,” said Pierre.
“They’d rather be home watching TV or out at the pub drinking instead of taking them to training or whatever it may be. I couldn’t think of anything worse.
“You need to be in their lives, being present in it and forming them as they grow. Enjoy life with those that matter most to you.
“The ‘sacrifices’ have never been sacrifices to me. I enjoyed taking Jason to training all the years. I love being there for Layla at basketball.
“Even financially—I don’t look at it that way at all. Even now we’ll still chase Jason across the country, sitting there in the cold and the rain if I have to, just to see him play.
“We go all around the city to watch Layla. I can’t think of anything better I’d rather be doing.”
Pierre’s mentality has rubbed off on Jason over the years as his footy stardom has risen.
“You don’t really think about the values instilled in you when you’re a kid, that’s just who you are. Only later in life do you understand what those things really mean,” he said.
“For me, I just try and take those good things that my parents have showed me and keep living them out.
Jason isn’t short for inspiration when the time comes to start his own family. His dad’s example is one he hopes to emulate and admire if he gets the chance to be a father.
“It’s something I’m not sure if I even have in myself to do, and I can be honest about that. I’ve often wondered how he’s done it and in that sense I have so much respect for him,” Jason said.
“I also try to be myself, create and live out my own values and standards on top of the foundations of my parents.
“I’m just trying to be the best person I can be. With all that together, I’m sure when I’m ready God will give me that blessing.”