A day of reflection for fathers in Sydney will address the problem of men lacking spaces where they can relax together and gain insight and practical tools to help them in their important role and spiritual life.
The Strong and Present reflection day for fathers hosted by the Pared Academy in Dural in the city’s north-west offers a chance to step away from the noise and reflect on the gift and responsibility of fatherhood.
Experienced fathers and the chaplains of Tangara School for Girls and Redfield College, Fr Paul Muller and Fr Phil Elias, will lead the day of guided meditations, conversations, a shared meal and personal reflection.
“It will articulate the modern challenges that dads face and then help them come up with a few tools and solutions they can take home to try straight away,” said father of six Greg Bookallil.
“We’re always talking about how busy we are, for example. A lot of dads go to work very early and come home very late and tired and they’ve got to connect with their family.
“Even if they know that a relaxed, calm demeanor when they enter that door can help set the tone for the family for the rest of the night, there’s still that challenge of rising to that.
“Because it really does have a huge influence on the family, whether Dad walks in with a smile or a grimace on his face, and there’s more to life than going to work, having dinner and sitting down to watch the news.”
The reflection day is the first live event of the PARED academy’s monthly Growing Hearts podcast which is aimed at helping Catholic families nurture their faith.
Led by Fr Muller and Fr Elias, the podcast addresses the concerns and questions asked of them the most, with episodes such as ‘What do my kids need most from me right now?’. They say it is also a bridge inviting listeners to deepen or reconnect with their faith.
“People can listen in their car or wherever they are, and they have told us they feel we understand their challenges and have helped them with reactivating their faith,” said Fr Muller.
“I find many parents feel they have to be like Superman, they have to work and do so many things and sometimes they approach the life of faith and the education of their kids as their own project that has to be perfect with no flaws or weaknesses.
“But that’s not the whole picture. In every superhero movie the main character has an Achilles heel and each one has a crisis which is precisely a moment of growth.
“It’s very important for kids to see how their parents struggle sometimes and don’t always get things right but that they are able to turn around with humility and say ‘I’m sorry’.”
Fr Elias agrees. “We need keep trying to grow, whether it’s in sport or professionally, no less than in our relationships and something as important as fatherhood,” he said.
“We need to listen to the Holy Spirit, and for a father, ask where do you need to grow? Maybe it’s not professionally anymore, maybe it’s growing in how you listen to your kids, or just slowing down and starting a hobby because you realise you’ve become a workaholic and that’s a bad example for your kids.”
“Men need to feel that they’re growing in some way,” adds Bookallil, “and it’s important they understand that not a second of energy they put into their family is ever wasted.
“Every conversation, every bit of affection, even though you think the child hasn’t acknowledged it, has gone into their memory bank and they will recall when they need to perhaps years later.”
The day is also a chance during Lent to unplug from the over-emphasis on efficiency and productivity, excessive technology and consumerism which unfortunately marks many interactions today.
“Parents in their particular weaknesses have a very great mission here with their families as the first evangelists are parents,” said Fr Muller.
“At the end of the day Jesus’ message is that God is father, and John says God is love, so if you put them together that means the father is love.
“That is the first mission of a dad, to show that God is love.”
The Strong and Present reflection day for fathers will be held at Redfield College Chapel and Atrium, 855 Old Northern Rd, Dural, Sunday 30 March 11.30am-4pm. Cost is $25.
