Seven deadly sins, and seven lessons from our largest Men’s conference yet

Father of two Isaac was worried he wouldn’t be able to attend the annual “Be Not Afraid” men’s conference, after he couldn’t find a babysitter for his young son Daniel. 

Instead, he decided to bring his son along while his wife was also away on a spiritual retreat. 

Worried Daniel would disrupt the day, the energetic youth weaving in and out of the crowd instead became a symbol of who Sydney’s men were wanting to be better for. 

“In this world we all have this desire to be more,” Isaac said. 

“Amidst the struggles and imperfection, we’re seeking a way to find grace and a way to pass that on to our future through our actions.” 

The annual conference on 21 September called more men together than ever, from the Archdiocese of Sydney and beyond, to find where they are yearning for spiritual growth and strength. 

Close to 500 men packed out St Mary’s Cathedral College Hall to hear from Sydney’s priests and lay theologians about the seven deadly sins. 

While the conference helped men to understand the vices and virtues, it also brought likeminded men together in their search for God. 

“For many of us I think we’ve grown in love of the faith, but want to grow more in knowledge of the faith,” said Daniel Chakar, an accountant currently in Lidcombe’s Sumner House. 

“We’re trying to seek out answers so that we are reaffirmed in the way we live our life and what we do. Today has shown that to be true. 

“There’s a big difference between your typical masculinity that society might define and what men are seeking.  

“This is a search for a lot of men, a search for answers and a search for truth.” 

Pride: The underlying cause of vice 

If greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath and sloth are symptoms, then parish priest of Gymea, Fr Gregory Morgan, describes pride as the cause of “an underlying crisis of identity” in men. 

The parish priest from Gymea said men’s pride blinds them as they attempt to preserve a false self-image. 

“On the one hand, there’s the man we really are. And on the other, there’s the man we have made ourselves out to be,” he said. 

The remedy for pride is to cultivate magnanimity and humility. 

“The only title in life that you and I should be seeking is the title of saint. God wants you and I to be great, to rise and be great in substance, not appearance,” Fr Morgan said.  

“Distinguish the vast difference between wanting more money and wanting a fancy title, as opposed to wanting to be the best professional, the best father, the best husband, the best man you can be.” 

Greed: Earning more than nature requires 

Pride’s tendency to create an inflated self-image makes us susceptible to greed.  

Notre Dame theologian Dr Peter Holmes instead suggested men learn their call to earn a wage through the lens of St Thomas Aquinas’ understanding of “natural wealth.” 

“These are the things we need to be who we are. We need food, shelter, all material things to support the life and the activities God calls us to,” he said. 

Dr Holmes suggested men imitate God’s charitable and humble heart in their work to fulfil their earthly calling to provide. 

“Just as in all things, be passionate, not greedy. We’re seekers. We are imitations. images of God’s seeking, passionate love for us.” 

Lust: Desire without self-sacrifice  

Addressing lust, Fr Richard Wallace FSSP urged the men to understand their sexual role in the context of God’s sacrificial love in the sacrament of marriage. 

“The sexual part of man is a really deep and sensitive part of his being. It concerns his identity and gift he’s been given: to make new life,” he said. 

“That’s a great and serious power, and when that power is used wrongly, expect big consequences.” 

Envy: Wanting blessings without crosses 

Sharing with lust the same perversity of turning good and holy things into bad is why Fr James Baxter OP fears the sin of envy may be the most damning. 

“If someone’s good is a spiritual good, the work of grace, a charism someone has … if you are envious, then you are sad about the action of the Holy Spirit. That’s not a good place to be,” he said. 

The feeling starts easily in the workplace when colleagues receive praise, but Fr Baxter encouraged the men to avoid undermining and speaking ill of others. 

Instead, he advised them to be honest about their desires.  

“Expand your vision about what the other person has. Maybe a fuller and more real approach is to say, ‘I want what that person has, together with all of the sufferings, all of the crosses, big or small, that come with it.’ 

“That’s when you realise, ‘Maybe I’m not the best one at judging what the blessings of my life should be?’  

“Maybe I’ll just praise God from whom all blessings flow, whether they flow to me or someone else.” 

Wrath: Placing ourselves on Christ’s judgment seat 

Angry men kick Christ off his judgment seat and take matters into their own hands. 

“The small flame turns into a raging fire,” Fr Chris de Sousa CRS said. 

“It could be as dismissive as an irritated eye roll, especially when you know that ticks off your wife, triggers her, and you know it to be the best way to get revenge. 

Fr Chris warned men not to let “false justice” consume them, and instead should choose Christ’s active call to love and forgive. 

“Meekness isn’t weakness as we men often perceive. It’s the virtue that helps us to have that self-control, which allows us to master our emotions when attacked or when wrong. 

“Lean into it,” he advised. 

Gluttony: The Eucharist is a “food group” 

“Of all the deadly sins, gluttony is the one where we might be tempted to wonder what the big deal is,” UNDA theologian Christian Stephens said. 

Gluttony is more than food or drink, encompassing all the bodily and intellectual things we consume. 

Ultimately it has its root in the human inclination to survive. Its opposite is to practice self-giving rather than consumption; to practice charity. 

“In this way you stop looking to get from consumables what it cannot give you. You stop breaking your body trying to get out of something it cannot give and you turn to the true source of life,” Stephens said. 

His “dietary advice” was to “consume” the Eucharist during the week at least once, in addition to Sundays. 

Sloth: Laziness is not peace 

“Many of us think: ‘I am a busy, working professional, I have a wife and kids, my life is full up from the moment I get up to the time I go to bed. [Sloth] would be one vice I don’t struggle with,’” St Patrick’s Sutherland Fr Dan McCaughan said. 

But laziness is not a matter of how “busy” we are. Rather it’s about fear. 

“In situations we know we have to change, to move out of our comfort zone, ask the question: ‘What has been keeping me where I am for so long?’” Fr McCaughan said. 

When life lacks the sense of struggle, and we find ourselves “relaxing,” Fr McCaughan said it is mistaking the feeling for the peace one’s heart really desires. 

“True peace comes with taking up your cross every day,” he said. 

“Be diligent, find in yourself an eagerness to do what is needed, inspired by the zeal of divine love, making even difficult tasks achievable.”