Mike and Alicia Hernon have spent more than a decade accompanying families through the messiness of marriage and family life, finding in it not failure but a path to holiness. Now the founders of the Messy Family Project, and hosts of one of the United States’ most popular Catholic family podcasts, are coming to Sydney with a message many parents need to hear: you are not failing, and you are not alone.
The Messy Family Podcast reaches more than 25,000 families each month, combining Catholic spirituality, the grace of the sacrament of matrimony, and practical wisdom drawn from the Hernons’ experience raising 10 children.
They will be in Sydney from 8 May for a series of events hosted by the Life, Marriage and Family team within the Sydney Centre for Evangelisation. The program aims to offer couples theological depth, spiritual renewal, and practical strategies for family life, while also supporting marriage leaders and strengthening marriage culture in Australia.
Alicia, one of 10 children, grew up in a large and deeply faithful Catholic family where forgiveness, strong sibling relationships and prayer shaped daily life. Mike’s upbringing was markedly different, shaped by his parents’ divorce before he reached high school. Rather than defining him, that experience became a motivation.
“I didn’t want to make assumptions,” he said. “Even as a teenager, I was looking for a better model. I sought out mentors, older couples, and tried to learn from them.”
Those different backgrounds now underpin their ministry. Rather than presenting an idealised version of Catholic family life, the Hernons speak openly about its challenges.
“A priest once told us: God doesn’t love us in spite of our mess,” Alicia said. “He loves us in it, because he created us this way. The more aware we are of our need, the more the Lord is drawn to us.”
At the centre of their work is a conviction that the strength of family life flows from the relationship between husband and wife. Their events are designed not simply to present ideas but to foster real conversation between couples.
“We believe the strength of your family comes from husband and wife building a united life together,” Mike said. “Every family will respond in its own way. We try to start that conversation so parents feel more confident leading in the home.”
Central to their approach is the theology of the sacrament of matrimony, which they say distinguishes Catholic teaching from secular parenting advice.
“The sacrament of marriage is a wellspring of grace,” Alicia said. “Much of the advice out there won’t speak about that grace. But we truly believe it makes all the difference.”
Their visit comes at a time when many Australian families face significant pressures. Rising living costs, busy schedules, and the constant presence of smartphones and social media are eroding time and attention within the home. The Hernons address these realities directly.
“I really want parents to think about this,” Alicia said. “It can lead to lazy habits. It’s easier to give your child a phone than to engage them. But that comes at a cost.”
She believes that parents who have seen the negative effects of technology in their own lives are beginning to respond differently, offering a sign of hope.
For parents struggling with exhaustion and fractured routines, Mike offers a simple but intentional approach.
“When I put my hand on the doorknob, I remind myself: I am entering mission territory. I don’t want my family to get the leftovers.”
The Hernons encourage couples to establish regular rhythms including date nights, family time, and shared meals, that become anchors in family life.
“You need to protect your yes to your family with a thousand no’s to other things,” Alicia said.
Their message also extends to parish life. They argue that parishes play a vital role in supporting families, not through isolated programs but by fostering genuine community across generations.
“A family on its own is vulnerable,” Mike said. “Families need other families.”
Alicia encouraged priests to speak more directly about the realities of marriage and parenting, and to ensure that families feel welcomed and supported within parish life.
For those attending the Sydney events, the Hernons hope participants will leave with renewed confidence and unity.
“Parents have been given the children they are meant to raise,” Alicia said. “They needed their spouse and God to bring those children into the world, and they need those same gifts to raise them. God will provide what they need.”
Mike adds a note of realism shaped by decades of family life.
“We’ve made mistakes,” he said. “But we got the important things right. And our mistakes are not irreparable.”
Alicia believes Catholic families have something essential to offer the wider culture.
“What people are searching for is already present in the Catholic family,” she said. “We need to recognise that, and live it with confidence—bringing the love of God into the world through how we love our spouse and our children.”
