Many young men desperate for male role models are looking to figures such as notorious online influencer Andrew Tate and controversial psychologist Dr Jordan Peterson, but male greatness lies much closer to home, says researcher Dr Peter Holmes.
His own quest for Catholic answers about masculinity and countless conversations with men led to the senior lecturer at the University of Notre Dame Australia writing his first book, Redeeming Masculinity: A Catholic Theology of Masculinity.
“For a long time I searched for the Catholic manual of masculinity, and I couldn’t find anywhere where someone had brought together what the magisterial teaching was on it,” Dr Holmes explained.
“John Paul II said a lot about femininity and the feminine genius, and that masculinity and femininity are complementary and equal. If you search the term masculinity in the Theology of the Body you get are hundreds of hits but they’re all in relation to femininity.
“But faith is a touchstone for life so I thought there must be a corresponding masculine contribution in the magisterium.”
Dr Holmes’ book, published by Wipf and Stock in August, draws on the church’s teachings, including works of St John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI, to show how masculinity can be redeemed in social discourse and also how authentic masculinity participates in Christ’s redemptive work.
In the book the father of eight responds to the “two biggest complaints” about maleness in the world—the evils of patriarchy and toxic masculinity. He says the church offers a response to both evils that flows from the love of the triune God.
“I went into this wanting to fight back against that negative image of masculinity, but my conclusion is that the world is quite right about those two being our biggest problems,” Dr Holmes explained.
“Not because the church is wrong about men but because these things represent perversions or brokenness in two of the most important elements of imaging God.
“Patriarchy refers to that domineering, patronising, paternalistic, controlling, overbearing kind of love of a father, and toxic masculinity to that grasping, controlling, using kind of spousal love.
“The answer to patriarchy is to love like God the father. God is not overbearing, God is not domineering, God delights in my flourishing and doesn’t tell me how to flourish but will warn me and draw me away from things that destroy me.
“The answer to toxic masculinity is the spousal love of Christ, the bridegroom who gives himself wholly over to his bride the church and gets nothing in return.”
Holmes worked on the book on and off over a decade as part of his doctorate in theology, which was conferred on him in 2022.
He was one of the speakers at the Be Not Afraid conference for men held at St Mary’s Cathedral College Hall last week and said the experience was “absolutely brilliant” but hopes it will encourage organic connections between men to flourish at the parish level.
“Having a real relationship with struggling, flawed people is more important than having an ideal which is unrealistic,” he said.
“There is greatness to aspire to and there are men around who are examples of that but it’s rarely the man who stands up and says, ‘I’m the one to aspire to.’
“Part of our problem is the whole world screams at us that greatness is in the workplace, in careers, in achievement at sports or whatever it is. No one seems to be saying that greatness is in a father who is patient, just, kind and long-suffering, or a husband who stays up at 2am to wash the dishes when he knows his wife won’t know it was him or give him any credit for it.
“The young men I teach and speak to want to be challenged and when I talk to them about their emotions, almost always what I hear is frustration, that at the same time they feel held back and there’s nowhere for this power and passion and strength to go.”
Holmes has delivered talks on Christian masculinity to audiences in Australian and overseas dioceses and is now studying a masters of psychology and counselling, prompted in part by the sorts of conversations that typically follow.
Most men come to him with psychological questions, not theological ones, about their relationship with their father or brothers, or their wife.
Asked what young men in particular tell him they want, Holmes says they “desperately” want connection with their fathers and that this is often missing.
“Instead, they are latching on to anyone they think represents a healthy view of masculinity,” he said.
“Andrew Tate attracts so much attention because young men are tired of being told their masculinity is a problem and he comes along and says it’s not a problem, it’s a power.
“He is right that masculinity is good, but he’s wrong on almost everything else he says which is toxic, awful and the worst representation of masculinity.”
Holmes is much more positive about Jordan Peterson but is concerned about young Catholic men seeing him as “the guru of masculinity.”
“I do think Catholics sometimes attribute him too much credit. I think he’s not Catholic but Pelagian [in his thinking] and so doesn’t really understand grace and mercy in that sense. He has many good things to say, but it is insufficient.”
Redeeming Masculinity is available at the Mustard Seed Bookshop; 02 9307 8350.