When Richard ‘Richie’ Leilua sits down with his wife Mary, for what he now calls their “family board meeting,” he thinks about the parents he no longer has.
His mother died 11 years ago. His father, 13 years ago. Raising a family without them and their lived wisdom passed across a kitchen table, has left a gap that love alone doesn’t fill.
It was into that silence that Mike and Alicia Hernon, the hosts of the Messy Family Project podcast, arrived.
Richie Leilua is the Life, Marriage and Family officer within the Sydney Centre for Evangelisation. He is also a husband and a father navigating the ordinary chaos of family life, just like the people he serves. When he first encountered the Hernons’ Messy Family Project, he wasn’t looking for guest speakers for his next event. He was looking for help.
He found it.
It’s no wonder that as Mike and Alicia prepare to visit Sydney this May, in a tour organised by Richie and the LMF team, he wants every Catholic family in the archdiocese to have the same opportunity.
The name Messy Family Project doesn’t sound like the kind of thing you’d expect from a Catholic ministry. But that, says Richie, is precisely why it works.
“I think there’s probably an assumption of what a family looks like, like a perfect Brady Bunch kind of family,” he says.
“With the Messy Family Project, they embrace the challenges that come up ahead. Having children is difficult. There’s no fixed manual. You learn from the mistakes and the challenges that come along the way.”
Rather than presenting an idealised vision of Catholic family life, Mike and Alicia begin where many families find themselves – somewhat overwhelmed, tired, and trying their best.
From that honest starting point, they offer practical, theologically grounded wisdom for the daily grind of marriage and parenthood. Not just the ‘what’ of the domestic church, but the ‘how’.
“I love the variety they offer,” Richie says. “It’s not just theological concepts, they look at discipline, the importance of eating together as a family, what school to go to, where you set boundaries. It’s all the real barriers we can identify.”
This is family ministry that meets people at the kitchen table, not the podium.
Their Messy Family Podcast reaches around 25,000 Catholic families every week, making it one of the most listened-to Catholic family programs in the world. They have 10 children. They have lived what they teach.
“They’re practical. They speak from the heart – it’s that homespun advice that I appreciate,” he says. “There’s a reason why they’ve become so influential.
“What has been really valuable is their advice on creating traditions. Even just eating together, game nights. They have ‘board meetings’ for the family. I thought, there’s some great advice there.”
In practice, that has meant sitting down regularly with his wife to plan, to listen, to be present to each other, with purpose.
“I never really did that before, sat down and actually had a discussion about planning budgets and managing your family. You do it on the fly. But you don’t really sit down with an intention and a goal.”
The Messy Family visit, Richie hopes, is not just an event. It’s a spark.
“Come and check out Mike and Alicia, they can give us some great advice on how we can be better as a family, and how we can reflect our faith.
“Because when you let God into the ordinary chaos of family life, grace has a way of getting the last word.”
The Sydney tour features three events across May. On 8–9 May, the Family Culture Course runs at St Peter Chanel & St Joseph’s Parish, Berala – an immersive weekend for families looking to go deeper.
On 10 May, they are hosting a ‘Growing your Family Culture’ event at St Michael’s parish in Lane Cove and then on 12 May, the tour splits in two: mothers are invited to Following Mary’s Footsteps at St Jerome’s Parish, Punchbowl, while the men’s evening titled What It Means to Be a Father takes place at St Luke the Evangelist Parish, Revesby.
To register for any of the events, visit sydneycatholic.org/events/the-messy-family-project-tour
An extensive interview with Mike and Alicia Hernon is available on the Grace Abounds podcast available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify wherever you get your podcasts.
