Editor’s note: The following is an extract from The Secret Catholic by Deacon Peter Pellicaan, published by Connor Court Publishing and available at the Mustard Seed Bookshop.
| Nico: | Hey, if you don’t mind, I’ve been meaning to ask you a few questions. |
| Theologian: | What about? |
| Nico: | Well, it’s kind of personal. I want some answers, but I don’t want others to know that I’m looking for them. |
| Theologian: | That’s fine. I don’t have to tell anyone what we’re chatting about, or what your questions are – and you’re presuming I might know the answers, so are we talking God questions? |
| Nico: | Yes, God, the meaning of life, why the hell I exist? That kind of thing. |
| Theologian: | What’s your motivation – why are you asking me, and why now? You’ve known me a long time, you know I’m a theologian, you could have asked any time in the last two decades, why now? |
| Nico: | Well, I feel like I’ve done all the things there are to do … I’ve grown up, travelled overseas, finished a few degrees, developed a strong career, fallen in love, got married, bought the house, had the kids … but now I feel like I’m a bit bored or like I’m not sure what it’s all for. |
| Theologian: | So, you’re just looking to feel better? Looking for a new goal? |
| Nico: | Sure, I want to feel better – like my life has purpose – and I think it does to some extent, but I feel kind of discontented – like I have everything someone at my age and stage should want, but I still feel dissatisfied. It’s not enough. |
| Theologian: | You’re opening up a pretty big can of worms here. If you really want answers, I’m happy to begin a conversation, but there are some conditions attached. |
| Nico: | Like what? |
| Theologian: | How much do you want to know the truth? |
| Nico: | Is this like a Matrix, blue pill/red pill question? |
| Theologian: | Yes, it is, I suppose. Will you pursue the truth no matter where it leads? Even if it’s inconvenient? You referenced The Matrix.1 In some ways, Neo could have been happier living in the ignorance of the matrix – but his desire for truth led him to forego comfort to experience reality … What about you? |
| Nico: | I want to know your truth – you seem at peace. How do you find meaning? What’s your understanding of the world? |
| Theologian: | This is going to be lesson number one: ‘my truth’ is irrelevant. The question we must ask is, what is the truth? |
| Nico: | What do you mean? Aren’t there many religious and philosophical views of the world? Isn’t there validity in all of them? |
| Theologian: | There might be aspects of validity/truth to all of them, but it’s not possible for all of them to be true and equal. It’s simply the law of non-contradiction. |
| Nico: | But there are people of various religions, and even no religion, who seem happy and at peace. |
| Theologian: | Happiness alone is not a measure of truth. We can be happily wrong. Have you ever baked a cake and missed a crucial ingredient? You can be cooking happily and with a strong sense of purpose, your experience is positive, but it’s not until the oven dings and you take out a pile of crumbling soggy mess that you realise you got it wrong. |
| Nico: | You think truth is exclusive? |
| Theologian: | Yes, it is. The only kinds of truths that aren’t exclusive are those that are subjective. |
| Nico: | What do you mean by subjective? |
| Theologian: | If I ask a subjective question, then you get to determine the answer. Here’s an example: do you like prawns? |
| Nico: | Yes, I love them! Especially barbecued with some salt and garlic … |
| Theologian: | I don’t. To my taste, prawns are like the cockroaches of the sea. |
| Nico: | Eww – you’re wrong! |
| Theologian: | But here’s the point – we’re both right. The question, ‘do prawns taste good’, is subjective – it depends on who you ask. You say yes; I say no; we’re both right. |
| Nico: | But isn’t this the same with religion? |
| Theologian: | No, because religious questions are not subjective. The question, ‘does God exist?’ is objective. It’s a yes or no answer, and my opinion makes no difference to the reality. God doesn’t stop existing because I don’t think God’s real.
Let’s take a less controversial example. We’re both holding beers. If I ask what this pint is made from, the answer is … |
| Nico: | Glass. |
| Theologian: | Yes, and if you said steel or timber, would you still be right? |
| Nico: | No – and I think I see what you’re saying. |
| Theologian: | You may not like the glass, or you may love it, but what it’s made out of is something for you to recognise or discover; it’s not something you decide.
In many discussions on religion, I hear people confuse subjective and objective truths. They want to comment on a religious figure’s teachings, be it Buddha, Muhammad or Jesus, based on whether they like it … But whether you or I like it means nothing; our chief question is simply: is it true? |
| Nico: | I’m going to have to think about that. |
| Theologian: | You should. The honest pursuit of truth is very difficult for us. The seventeenth century philosopher, Blaise Pascal, had some insights on this. He said, ‘In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don’t.’2 |
| Nico: | What are you getting at here? |
| Theologian: | I’m asking you to consider your own will in all this. Do you really want to see the truth? |
| Nico: | You’re asking me to pursue the truth as honestly as possible, being aware that my own personal desires and preferences impact what I’m capable of seeing? |
| Theologian: | Exactly. We can go as deep and as wide as you want to go – as long as you’re willing to pursue the truth wherever it leads. To quote Morpheus, ‘You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.’3 |
| Nico: | This sounds like it might be getting a bit scientific or mathematical or something … It’s making me feel tired. |
| Theologian: | In some respects, it is. Theology is a science after all. Our intent is to discover the truth. It’s just that our focus is different. Science, by definition, explores the natural world, but we’re going to be exploring the biggest questions in life – for many of these, the answers can only be found beyond the natural world. This means that our data are not as concrete, and our methods of enquiry will be different. We’ll be engaging the intellect, exploring history, philosophy and theology, but we’ll also be engaging our own human spirit and reflecting on the human experience. Science on steroids perhaps. |
| Nico: | That’s sounding more interesting – but will this help me with my own sense of discontent? |
| Theologian: | That I cannot answer. It is only you that can, in the end, pursue the truth with all your heart. My own experience would suggest that truth becomes quite personal. It moves from the pursuit of facts to the pursuit of the one who is truth. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves now. |
| Nico: | My brain is starting to hurt. |
| Theologian: | We’ve probably covered enough for now. I want you to reflect on the question we’ve been discussing: do you desire the truth, no matter what? That’ll be the first question I ask if you wish to continue our discussion next time we catch up. |
| Nico: | Ok, deal … I’ll think about that. It’s an uncomfortable concept – you’re almost asking me to say yes to something when I don’t know what it is. But I guess that’s the point isn’t it – will I align myself to whatever is true? And, I suppose, if I deliberately refuse to surrender to truth, I have to consciously choose to live a lie. If I don’t pursue the truth, I’ll be deliberately staying ignorant so that I don’t have to respond to something I may not like. I don’t think my conscience will let me do that. I’m a bit cornered. I’ll do some reflecting and get back to you if I want to go deeper and ‘take the red pill’. |
| Theologian: | Hey, you asked the question.
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 There’s a quote often attributed to Augustine that says, ‘The truth is like a lion; you don’t have to defend it. Let it loose; it will defend itself.’ You’ve just awoken a sleeping lion … I can’t promise it will not come after you. But what you suggest works for me – now for another pint. |
| Nico: | Make that two! |
