As Lent begins on 18 February, the church once again invites Catholics to return to the sacrament of reconciliation, a deeply meaningful encounter with Jesus Christ that for some who have been away, or new Catholics who haven’t gone very often, can feel daunting.
Some may feel awkward about confessing their sins, feel unsure about what to say, or have other worries about approaching the sacrament.
If this is you, The Catholic Weekly asked three Sydney priests and one bishop to tell us the most important thing remember, and they all said the same thing: just show up.
Fr Lewi Barakat, parish priest St Patrick’s Church Hill
Fr Barakat said the sacrament of confession arises from the human need to “know we are forgiven.”
“We can know that we are forgiven because God says those words to us. We hear that in sacred Scripture,” he said.
“When Jesus walked this earth, he saw people, and he said, ‘your sins are forgiven.’ And in fact, people recognised that he was doing something only God could do, and they even wanted to stone him for it, because to grant forgiveness of sins is something only God can do.
“If someone asks me, ‘Why should I go to a priest to confess my sins?’ It’s because God wants you to. God himself has instituted in this very specific way a gift for us to know, when we are sorry for our sin, that we are forgiven.”
Prayerfully reviewing the Archdiocese of Sydney’s annual Lenten Companion, which includes an examination of conscience written by Archbishop Anthony Fisher OP, will allow God to help you get over any nerves, he said, and the best way to prepare for confession being to “spend time with the Lord who loves you.”
“Confession isn’t just a list of things you don’t like about yourself, it’s allowing the Holy Spirit to shine a light on aspects of your life where perhaps you have come to realise you were rejecting or refused the offer of God’s love.
“Talk to God who loves you and show him that you love him too by doing a good examination of conscience.”
Fr Bijoy Joseph, assistant priest at St Joachim’s church in Lidcombe
To feel at ease before confession, Fr Joseph said trust in God was key, as was the reminder of God’s mercy, which is “greater than any sin we can commit.”
“If we know that our sins are damaging us, are causing us these issues in our life, we shouldn’t be afraid,” he said.
“A confessional is not a torture chamber.”
If it has been a year (or many) since attending confession, the feeling of there being too much to confess might be overwhelming. Again, Fr Joseph is reassuring.
“If you’ve prepared with all honesty, then you can say ‘well, I’ve tried my best.’ There might be more you remember later, and then you should go to confession and confess those sins before receiving Communion again.”
The seal of confession is a “beautiful Catholic teaching” which the priest is obliged to preserve under the pain of excommunication, he added.
“He can’t talk to other priests about anything said in confession. He can’t mention it in a homily, he can’t raise it with you at a later point, nor can his behaviour change around you based on what he heard in the confession.
“That is the level of seriousness with which the church takes the seal.”
Fr Adrian Simmons, chaplain at UNSW Sydney
Fr Simmons recommends being alone in prayer with Christ while doing an examination of conscience, and not to worry about how long your confession might take.
“What you need to do is go in there to be free to simply speak all of your sins,” he said.
“However, if it’s been a long while and you want make a general confession, or you want to speak to the priest about a number of issues and perhaps get some feedback or some assistance from him, you might want to organise a time with him outside of the parish’s scheduled time for the sacrament.”
He said humanity’s “brokenness doesn’t define us” as we are the result of God’s love.
“We have to remember that sin damages our relationship with God and with the church.
“The sooner we get it off and out, the more sorry (we are), the quicker we can come back to living as we should, as children of God – deeply blessed – with a life of grace and love.
“The sacrament of confession heals the wounds of our soul caused by sin. Here, God not only forgives our failures, but renews us with grace, peace and the courage to begin again.
“Our confession, then is more than an admission of our brokenness. It is an acknowledgement that we cannot live well without Christ.”
Bishop Daniel Meagher
Bishop Meagher said it was never too late to return to the sacrament even if you have spent years away.
“There are many testimonies of people who have been to confession and felt an enormous weight come off their shoulders and healing, progress and the light that comes through God’s grace,” he said.
“I’d encourage you to get over your nerves, take the opportunity to receive the grace of the sacrament. It’s a gift from God.
“Try to understand the sacrament and the good that can be derived from the it, the progress you can make. Keep that in mind, try to overcome those fears and get yourself into confession,” he said.
