With funding from the Australian Catholic Bishops Conference, the Parish & Marriage Resource Centre (PMRC) is asking couples who had a wedding in or after 2016 to complete this survey.
Responses are anonymous and confidential and will help shape future marriage resources for the early years of marriage.
Married life is hard in ordinary ways before it’s hard in any spiritual sense. The logistics of starting a life together are front-of-mind concerns: financial stability, building careers and homes, and establishing community between family and friends.
Add children to the mix — for some couples, children arrive early and the pressures compound, or the stress of infertility topples the balance from calm to crisis in a matter of months.
We asked a hundred Catholic priests, lay volunteers, diocesan staff and counsellors who work with newlyweds what couples need most in the first decade of marriage, and you might expect a hundred different answers.
However, from Australia, Africa, Asia, the Americas and Europe, responses highlighted a clear pattern that tells an intriguing story about what’s working, what isn’t, and what might close the gap in a cross-continental survey of the Marriage Catechumenate.
“The first years constitute the transition from the idealism of courtship to the reality of the common life project.” (Clergy, Venezuela)
A skills gap
Alongside the practical load, respondents cited a skills gap that isn’t groundbreaking but is concrete: communication. The skills to resolve conflict, remain honest with each other under pressure and maintain dialogue during disagreements are how one clergy respondent put it.
An undeniable and unglamorous need that showed up again and again, both as something couples lack early on and as something leaders think formation could actively build as the newlyweds grow together and make decisions about how they cultivate a shared family life.
Faith as something lived, not just believed
Layered on top of the practical is something distinctly Catholic: couples need help living their faith together, not just holding onto it individually, or losing it in the demands of daily life.
That showed up as prayer — “commitment to their marriage and faith in God’s presence in their relationship” (Clergy, USA) — but also as a deeper theological question about what the Sacrament of marriage really is.
Several leaders pointed out that couples need to be formed in their understanding of marriage as an indissoluble union, not just a wedding day they’ve already had.
One Australian counsellor put it sharply: “the first years are one of the most important formation stages, not merely a follow-up” — a reminder that faith formation must continue beyond the wedding threshold.
The gap nobody’s hiding from
Here’s where the gap in marriage enrichment is highlighted. When respondents were asked how well their communities are currently meeting these needs, the answer was candid.
More than half openly admitted the support isn’t there:
“We struggle to have resources to support newly married couples after their wedding day.” — (Clergy, Australia)
“The greatest gap is the lack of clear, well-known pathways for support after marriage; couples don’t know where to turn.” — (Therapist, Australia)
While marriage preparation is established and effective, formal supports end or are largely unknown after the wedding.
This leaves couples to find their own way, navigate the challenges and triumphs of married life alone, and often become isolated or insular about how they live a Catholic marriage.
That’s why we’re asking
So now PMRC is turning to couples who have had a wedding in or after 2016 to ask: what are the primary causes of tension between you and your spouse? Do you feel supported in the season of marriage you are currently in? Who do you turn to when in need (if anyone at all)? If you were open to marriage enrichment in this season, how would you prefer to receive it?
The survey can be completed by anyone who has had a wedding in the last decade where at least one spouse is Catholic. The findings will be published by the Parish & Marriage Resource Centre and shape future resources within the Catholic Church that aim to accompany the newly married.
If you know someone who fits the cohort of newly married, please share the link with them today.
This research is coordinated by PMRC with support from the Christian Research Association, and funding from the Australian Catholic Bishops Conference.
