We have four adolescent ducks who have grown out of their brooder box and it’s warm enough outside that they can play in the yard during the day.
They’re getting along well with the older ducks, and it’s great to see them having a bit more freedom, growing bolder, and discovering the wonders of the wider world.
Also, last night my husband ended up wading through the still-frigid stream to rescue these same imbeciles, who somehow managed to cross to the other shore by themselves but couldn’t cross back.
They got back indoors, wet, upset, and decidedly lacking in affectionate feelings. Back in the box they went, with fresh cedar shavings and a nice heat lamp to take the chill off, a bowl of their special food, and a little tub of water, which they immediately stomped through and pooped in.
I don’t know if we would have been better parents if we had tried to raise ducks first, but I do know we’re better duck handlers because we’ve raised so many kids. Here are a few of the things we’ve learned, that could apply to raising young’un in both the family anatidae or the family hominidae.
Don’t go it alone. Ask for help from people with more experience, or at least listen in while they talk to each other. There’s no reason to assume you just naturally know how to do this. Why would you?
But also, there’s no reason to feel bad for not knowing how to do this. There definitely some wrong ways to do this, but there are lots and lots of different kind of right ways.
You know them better than you may think, and they are not all alike.
Personalities do shift, especially when they are going through life transitions but you should feel confident that you are, in fact, the expert on your own ducks/children. Even when they do unexpected or baffling things, trust your instincts about what they need.
It’s not personal. Sometimes they will act like they’ve never seen you before but find you distasteful. You cannot take this personally. It’s them; it’s not you.
Sometimes they will fight with each other for no reason. It’s not a sign you’ve done something wrong. It’s just how they are. But you may need to step in before they do something irrevocable. Sometimes they will act like they adore you and are thrilled to see you and you’re the greatest thing they’ve ever seen.
Go ahead and take this personally. They’re awfully cute, and you need the win.
Do not look for gratitude. It’s just not in them right now (teenager) or at all (ducks). You owe them food and drink and warmth and safety, and they know it, but their brains just don’t have the capacity to reciprocate.
They sense, on a basic, animal level, that you are the place they can go for the things they need, and you will just have to accept this surety as their version of thanks. Ducks do not get past this, but teenagers, God willing, will. Hang in there!
They are mostly a bunch of sex maniacs. It’s not their fault, it’s just how they’re made. There are rules that should be followed, and you are in charge, but it won’t help anyone if you act like there’s something wrong with them.
Every stage has its challenges. First they are babies, then they grow up a little, and get bigger and stronger and smarter . . . and then they are a bunch of toddlers again. They use their newfound strength to get themselves into fixes you can’t even understand the appeal of, much less the logistics of how they got themselves there.
Different ages, different needs. It gets easier in some ways, harder in others.
One more thing. They are the most beautiful creatures you will ever see in your life, and sometimes you will just want to gaze at them and marvel at these glorious creations of God. Part of their splendour is how unaware they are of their own incredible freshness and unconscious grace.
And this beauty is only heightened by the ridiculous noises they make and the insanely foolish ways they choose to spend their days.
And also by the way they smell.
Oh heavens, the smell. It heightens their beauty; just keep telling yourself that. Maybe go in the other room where you can enjoy their beauty from a distance, because whew.
Ducks and teenagers. It’s normal.
