My husband died this year, and I’m having a hard time adjusting to life without him. A friend said that I can expect to be reunited with him in heaven. Is this true?
I think we all have a deep desire to be reunited with our loved ones in heaven. And this desire will be realised, provided of course that we all go to heaven.
The Catechism refers to this communion with all the blessed in heaven: “This perfect life with the Most Holy Trinity—this communion of life and love with the Trinity, with the Virgin Mary, the angels and all the blessed—is called ‘heaven’” (CCC 1024).
The word “communion” means just that. We will be in communion, in union, with all those in heaven. And it will be a communion “of love.” We will love God and everyone else in heaven.
It is the traditional teaching of the church that happiness in heaven is twofold: essential and accidental. The essential happiness is union with God in the Blessed Trinity, and the accidental happiness is union with all the others in heaven.
These include Our Lady, St Joseph, the angels and all the other souls there. In heaven we will be intimately united with everyone else. It will be a great reunion of the family of the church.
This is expressed in Our Lord’s words: “I tell you, many will come from east and west and sit at table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven…” (Mt 8:11). Christ often likened the kingdom of heaven to a wedding banquet, where people of all backgrounds will be united in love for the bridegroom and bride, and for one another.
Another expression of the union of all in heaven with God and with each other is the communion of saints. That communion includes all the blessed in heaven, the souls in purgatory and the baptised on earth.
They are all united in one great communion, and they can all pray for each other. The saints in heaven and the souls in purgatory especially pray for those on earth to reach the goal of heaven.
But what happens if someone’s first spouse died and they married someone else? Will they have two spouses in heaven? This is the question the Sadducees, who don’t believe in the resurrection, asked Our Lord to try to trap him and show him there can’t be life after death.
We remember his answer: “For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven” (Mt 22:30). This can be understood in the sense that one’s marriage, or marriages, on earth will not matter, as the focus of all in heaven will be on God.
A person with several spouses will be united with all of them in the love of God. It is a wonderful reality.
In heaven, all is love, complete love. So any lack of love, any criticism loved ones may have had for each other on earth will be swallowed up in total love.
Similarly, if someone finds himself in heaven with someone he positively despised, and even insulted, on earth, that will not be a problem either. He will have been sorry for this lack of charity and will have purged the effects of that sin, either on earth or in purgatory, and so will now love everyone intensely. There is no hatred or dislike in heaven. All is love, all is union.
A related question is how we will even recognise our loved ones in heaven, when neither they nor we will have a body, only a soul, until the resurrection of the body on the last day.
How this will be we cannot know, but there are numerous accounts of people with near-death experiences whose soul went to heaven, where they recognised loved ones. There are also accounts of people on earth seeing with their eyes a deceased loved one.
Often what they saw they described as a spiritualised, heavenly face. In any case, we will find out about this when we go to heaven.
What is certain, though, is that we will be reunited with our loved ones in heaven. The final commendation of the funeral Mass confirms this truth: “There is sadness in parting, but we take comfort in the hope that one day we shall see N. again and enjoy his/her friendship.”